"The Jack"

10/14/00

dirty blackend soul to die
wants me to see my love of me
but irony irons my eyes into seeing
my want of yours ... to seeing me the way i should be ...
the way i dont want to be.
on the edge, i referentially go for me.

i called the caretaker of 'the lie' on his promise to deliver lesson
took a city cab to the heart of final dispair
in acoustic abundance chanting, 'hey-y-y-y ay-ay ba-a-by'
still high from unpacking size-30 suitcases & bold,
the caretaker grins, calling me, in the cold and sets the next 48 in my favor
that ones a baby (pointing)

cold leather gloves worn im given, 'put them on'
'take this' .. steel door better serving tools opens, bones, ashes .. human
'sweep' .. dust and fragments spring to the floor .. 'slower, get the corners'
my suspect has fielded my situation now to mentor and student
i realize the hiarchy of knowledge and know this lesson is suddenly life-neccessary

someone dumps into a stainless steel recess
'here, move this through and drop into this pail'
i tried to pull soul with a drop-magnet
and found nails, staples and a burned-up bracelet
nails?? .. 'please', replied
'this is what happens to you when you die',
sweeping remains into drop-slot to grinding apparatus
dust rising and sucked into oversized vacuum duct,
remaining result poured into a plastic bag for loved ones still lying.

'get that jack' (pointing), 'raise it up', .. 'stop'
a long white box, marked with 'head' in blue, is rolled onto the jacked up table
i answered in great respect and matched fear in not wanting to lift the lid
'wheel it over here .. lower the jack .. raise it .. stop! .. right there'
'take this .. open that cabinet .. get a roller .. place it on the end of this'
a burst so strong of Deja Vu hit and still lingers in manipulating that roller

forced fire shouting downwards screams as the steel door opens again
'place the roller inside' .. caretaker tweeks its position .. 'now------'

no one can bypass death, be touched for the aftermath ..
but i raked the furnace of prior account,
i raised the jack and laid the roller,
i felt the heat and saw the flame,
but i pushed her in.

-huey